As I reflect on the potential words that I could choose for 2020, it’a little overwhelming. There are a lot of words out there! But the word that I’ve been sitting with for the last week or two hasn’t gone away. It seems that my word has chosen itself, and who am I to argue?
So for this new year, my focus and intention will be on the word, STRENGTH.
My reason are several, which is great, because I love nothing more than a bulleted list:
My cancer is requiring aggressive treatment every three weeks. It’s terrible for the first week and pretty ok for the second and third. It might get worse. It probably won’t get better. I need to dig deep, power through, and keep going. Even in times when I’m feeling incredibly weak, I will find strength.
As I subject myself to the onslaught of poison that will make cold water intolerable, require me to wear mittens when I reach into the fridge, and slowly deplete my sense of touch. I feel the need to arm my body with increased muscle tone, stamina, and centeredness. My coach, Erin Kershaw is my sherpa on this journey to physical strength.
Things get hard for my kids. Still, though, their characters and senses of humor fortify me every day. Things are going to change with us this year, as Max makes the decisions that will take him farther away from us after graduation. We will have to learn new ways to be together. We’ll ask for help from each other and cheer each other on, even when we’re feeling pretty sad. My hope is that our family can look to each other for a current of strength that travels in every direction.
I don’t want to give up on my 2019 word, LIVING. I want to keep doing that in every way I’m able and called to. Sometimes, I am compelled to offer, rather than muster, strength — the power to be there for others in their hour of weakness or need. Even at my most helpless, I hope always to be able to offer even the tiniest bit of strength back to this community that offers me so much.
It’s going to be a pretty big year politically. Have you heard that there are a couple of important elections? It’s not easy to discern what choices are the right ones personally and for the country. Some people get downright ugly as they work it out for themselves and seek to impart their “wisdom” on others. Ideals and beliefs can waver when they are constantly under attack. It’s not easy to maintain strength of convictions in the face of such ugliness, but maybe I can if I spend some extra time with my word this year.
I’m going to write my word a lot. Probably here in this blog, and definitely in my calendar and notebook. It will be on my next My Intent bracelet and hopefully on a necklace from the delightfully talented Divella Designs.
If I surround myself with strength, I hope to seep it up through every pore.
2020 is here. What’s your word as you face what’s in store?
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