To My Son, On the Eve of His Graduation

Max, you are a marvel to me.

In the midst of the scariest, ugliest, and most uncertain time in our history, your composure and sense of humor are carrying you through. Not only are you finding your own way, but I watch you helping the rest of the people in your life to keep moving forward even when it feels so impossible.

When I look back at all of the moments of your youth, I can’t quite believe where we are now. When I expected you to zig, you would zag, and when it seemed you were about to head west, you’d turn east. Keeping me on my toes, but always assuring me that you pretty much had a handle on things.

You once told me that you worry that you are just a mix of the worst traits of both of your parents and I remember thinking how crazy you sounded! I think you ended up as the perfect mix, with just enough of the challenges that come from the two nuts who raised you and plenty of sense to deal with them.

You, like your dad, might not have a great sense of direction, but you have the courage to problem-solve, the charm to get people to help you, and the persistence to keep at it until you get there.

Your forgetfulness comes from me. Sorry about that. But I’ve watched you develop the strategies that you need to adapt: routines to keep track of your stuff, alarms to remember to do important things, and – again – the charm to find forgiveness for your mistakes.

Those first years that you played basketball as I watched you run up and down the court, following the ball, but never actually doing anything with it, I thought you probably ended up with the lack of coordination that comes from both sides of your family. Even as late as tenth grade, you would joke that you were destined to play for the JV B team for the rest of your life. But football and baseball made you an athlete, and you were able to step back from basketball to cheer on your friends. You took the reins of leadership where you found them – on the sidelines. You laugh at your shortcomings louder than anyone else could, so they don’t even bother teasing you. Where did all of that come from?!

Max, you are reliable, flexible, smart, and resilient. I love that I’ve heard you sob with disappointment (never in front of me because you are my sweet protector), and I love that I’ve watched you get up the next day to bravely face your new reality. I’ve learned so much from you. I’m so grateful that you didn’t turn out to be who I expected you to be, because I never could have imagined someone as over-the-top, super fantastic, delightfully phenomenal as you are now.

Please keep surprising me with your you-ness. I promise to stick around for as much of it as I possibly can.

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